Gleecap: “Throwdown”

“I’m so elegant, regal.  I am Ajax, mighty Greek warrior.”

– Sue Sylvester, declaring war on Will Shuester

“Throwdown” starts appropriately enough with Sue and Will fighting like cats and dogs in their new positions as Glee co-directors.  Principal Figgins calls them in to his office to make them promise that things are hunky dory, which they do … while uttering death threats to each other in a phony embrace.

Will escorts Finn and Quinn to their first sonogram, and they find out the baby’s a girl.  Rachel gets blackmailed into giving up her panties to Jacob, the geeky school newspaper editor, in exchange for his promise to hold the story about Quinn’s secret and, perhaps more scandalous, Rachel’s crush on Finn.

Sue and Will fight each other for the hearts and minds of the Glee club singers.  Professing not to “ignore the needs of minority students,” Sue calls together a special “elite” sub-section of Glee in an effort to stack the decks for Sectionals (“Santana!  Wheels!  Gay Kid!  Asian!  Other Asian!  Aretha!”).

Tensions between Will and Terri reach the boiling point as he complains about not being a central part in her fictitious-although-he-doesn’t-know-it pregnancy.  Terri panicks as Will promises to take her to her next OBGYN visit.

Coach Sylvester brags about her inclusivity to the world, and her minority-stacked Elite Glee subgroup kicks off rehearsals with a groovy version of “Hate on Me” led by Mercedes.  Will is left to lead the “non-minority” remainder of the group.  He accuses Sue of playing dirty and trying to undermine him, which she readily admits.

In an effort to get back in Will’s good graces, Terri gives him tips for going after Sue (“You’ve got to get down in the gutter.”)  Taking her advice and flexing his authoritative muscle, he promptly flunks the “functionally illiterate” Cheerios, inciting Sue’s wrath.  She’s doubly peeved when she learns that her longstanding method of blackmailing Principal Figgins to cement his place as her number one advocate (uploading his commercial for anti-embolism stockings to YouTube) has fallen flat: Figgins uploaded it himself and “it only got two hits!”

The Glee club meets for a secret group session, knowing that Will and Sue would not approve of the two groups mingling.  (Highlight of the episode: a glorious acoustic version of Nelly’s “Ride With Me”.)

Quinn and Finn’s competing stresses about the pregnancy come to a head.  Quinn calls Finn on his Rachel-crush and, growing angrier after observing their chemistry during rehearsal, thinks about ditching Will’s group for Sue’s.  Sue succeeds in getting three Glee kids to defect from Will’s group.

Worried about being exposed, Terri gets her sister Kendra (she’s back – hooray!) to blackmail her obstetrician into playing along with the fake pregnancy when Will comes in for the sonogram.  Kendra threatens Dr. Wu: “You delivered all three of my kids; each one is dumber than the last!”

Quinn warns Rachel to stay away from Finn.  Rachel chastises her for helping Sue take down the Glee club, which is “the only thing you have right now.” OUCH.  Quinn laments her situation in a delightfully saucy, cheer-laced remake of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On”.

The Glee teams prepare to face off in a hostility-fueled rehearsal that falls apart when Sue and Will come to blows.  The kids prove to be the real adults in the situation, demanding that they no longer be separated, calling Sue out for her fake commitment to “minority rights,” and storming off (even Artie storms off in a huff, lifted out of the auditorium by equally indignant fellow Gleeks).

Dr. Wu and Terry, through some fandangled miracle of technology, convince Will that the pretend baby is very much alive, and is very much a girl (laying more bricks along the path of Terri’s evil plan).

Sue and Will broach a shaky ceasefire, with Sue resigning as co-director of Glee.  We get perhaps the biggest insight into Sue’s psyche with this revelation: “I know I’m not like the rest of you hippies, caring about the kids’ feelings as if they were real … but I do care about teaching, and when I coach them, and they win, I win, and you know how I feel about winning.”

After that feel-good moment, the episode wraps up with – BIG SPOILER ALERT! – Sue exposing Quinn’s pregnancy.  (After Jacob the newspaper editor ‘fesses up about his panties blackmail scheme, she forces him to run the story of Quinn’s pregnancy and promptly blabs the news to the Glee club, obviously peeved that Quinn would jeopardize the future of her prized Cheerios by getting knocked up.)