Gleecap: “Vitamin D”
“Vitamin D” opens with a flirty tete a tete between Emma and Will over a dollop of mustard. Next, we hear about the only two competitors standing between the William McKinley Glee club and sectionals success: a deaf school and “a halfway house for girls who just got out of juvi.” Will rightfully worries that the Glee clubbers are complacent, so he launches a mashup pitting the sexes against each other.
[EDITORIAL NOTE: Were you, like me, thinking, well shucks, what’s a mashup? Well, I conveniently found this most excellent definition on YouTube by a most excellent individual named Sue "Granny" Teller. (Thanks, Mashuptown!)]
Definition of a Mashup by Granny Teller
Coach Sylvester meanwhile mistakes Quinn’s pregger vibes for exhaustion from Glee club practice and vows to destroy Will. She warns Terri about Will’s flirtation with Emma and advises her to “Get into that school and sniff out those sex phermones for yourself.” Despite having no training or credentials Terri applies for a nursing position at the school in an effort to sleuth it out, and gets the job immediately.
Finn feels stressed about impending fatherhood, sleepwalks through classes, and finds himself daydreaming about Rachel (“Her body is smokin’, if you’re not into boobs.”) He consults Newly-Minted-School Nurse Terri, who relays a story of how she maintained her popularity in high school and a constant 4.0: popping decongestants. She encourages him to take two every morning. He shares a couple with the Glee guys and they perform a rousing rendition of “It’s My Life” way than Bon Jovi could ever have pulled off (and I’m speaking as someone whose first concertgoing experience involved seeing Bon Jovi with two girlfriends and my dad – the mandated bodyguard – in 8th grade).
Meanwhile, Rachel extends an olive branch to Quinn, suggesting that her PG status makes them now they share a common “outsiders” bond. Ken confides to Terri that he suspects something’s going on between Ellen and Will. He breaks down in Terri’s office (“Look at us… you pregnant, and me with psoriasis and a testicle that won’t descend…”) Terri, grossed out, tells him to man up and go buy Ellen an engagement ring to see if he can call her bluff.
Meanwhile the Glee girls wonder how they’ll ever pull off a number to match the boys’ performance-enhanced mashup. Kurt (“I may have been grouped with the boys but my allegiance remains with you ladies”) tells them about the special “vitamins”. Everyone from Ken to the glee girls starts the new regimen and the high school is abuzz with pseudophedrine-fueled energy.
Will starts to smothered by Terri at work and tells her to back off. Ken offers Emma a pathetically sweet proposal, which she… ACCEPTS, with a few caveats, namely that they’ll reside in separate residences, have no ceremony, and no one will really know about it.
When it’s their time to perform, the Glee girls bring it with a sassy mashup involving “Halo” and “Walking on Sunshine”. The good vibes come screeching to a halt as Howard (Terri’s drug mule) gets arrested at purchasing pseudophedrine at the drug store “on suspicion of running a meth lab.” Terri is revealed as the dealer, Principal Figgins fires her and also punishes Will for fostering a Glee “culture” that would lend itself to drug use. The cracks in Will and Terri’s marriage rupture into serious fault lines as he cuts her down with a devastating parting line: “Every time I light a fire in my life, you find a way to make sure it burns the forest down.” OUCH.
The episode wraps up with two bombshells:
1) Quinn takes Terri up on her offer to raise the baby (although paying for Quinn’s medical bills and maternity clothes is apparently where she draws the line), and
2) Sue Sylvester is hired as the new co-chair of Glee to keep Will in line.
One thing’s for sure: lots of fun in the weeks to come!
